Attachment Styles and Their Role in Mental Health

Secure Attachment

People with a secure attachment style are generally comfortable with closeness and trust. As babies, they explored freely when a caregiver was present, showed distress when the caregiver left, and were easily comforted when the caregiver returned.

This balance between connecting, exploring, and reconnecting builds trust and confidence. As adults, securely attached people usually have a positive view of themselves and others. They can depend on others and allow others to depend on them.

Research shows that secure attachment in childhood supports resilience, emotional regulation, and strong social skills later in life. It also seems to protect against depression, anxiety, and other mental health difficulties.

Anxious (Ambivalent) Attachment

An anxious attachment style combines a strong need for closeness with frequent worry about relationships. As children, these individuals often showed extreme distress when separated from a caregiver and were hard to soothe upon reunion.

This pattern often develops when caregivers are inconsistently responsive. They may be warm and loving at times, but distant or distracted at others. Not knowing whether comfort will come, the child learns to “turn up the volume” on their distress signals, such as crying or clinging, in hopes of getting attention.

As adults, people with anxious attachment may fear abandonment, seek constant reassurance, and struggle with jealousy or emotional highs and lows. These patterns can increase the risk of anxiety and depression, especially when relationships feel unstable.

The good news is that becoming aware of an anxious pattern can be the first step toward healthier communication and self-soothing skills.

Avoidant (Dismissive) Attachment

The avoidant style leans heavily on independence and emotional distance. In the Strange Situation, avoidant infants seemed indifferent when their caregiver left or returned. Inside, however, they were just as stressed as other infants; they had simply learned to hide it.

This strategy develops when caregivers consistently reject or ignore a child’s need for closeness. Over time, the child suppresses their emotions and focuses on self-reliance.

As adults, avoidant individuals may resist depending on others, feel uncomfortable with intimacy, or prefer to handle problems alone. While this may seem confident, it can lead to loneliness and difficulty forming deep emotional connections. Avoidant individuals may also delay seeking help, which can worsen stress and mental health issues over time.

Disorganized (Fearful) Attachment

Disorganized attachment is the most complex style and is often linked to early trauma, abuse, or highly inconsistent caregiving. In the Strange Situation, these children sometimes froze, moved oddly, or showed fear toward the caregiver.

This confusion happens when the caregiver is both the source of comfort and the source of fear. Without a consistent way to feel safe, the child’s attachment system becomes chaotic.

As adults, the fearful style often shows up as a push-pull pattern. They crave closeness but fear betrayal or harm. This style carries a higher risk for depression, PTSD, self-harm, and dissociation.

Healing from disorganized attachment often requires trauma-informed therapy to rebuild a sense of safety and trust.

Why Attachment Styles Matter for Mental Health and Growth

Attachment styles are not fixed. They can change with awareness and supportive relationships.

In therapy, your attachment style can influence how you connect with your therapist. Secure clients often build trust quickly. Anxious clients may seek frequent reassurance, and avoidant clients may hold back. Disorganized clients may shift between these patterns.

A safe, consistent therapeutic relationship can help reshape insecure attachment into what is called earned secure attachment. Supportive adult relationships, whether with a therapist, friend, or partner, can offer a new emotional “template” for healthy connection.

Therapy also helps develop mentalization, which is the ability to understand your own and others’ thoughts and feelings. This skill is essential for emotional regulation and healthy relationships, and it can improve even if early experiences made it difficult.

Key Points

• Secure: Comfortable with closeness and trust; resilient to stress.

• Anxious: Craves closeness but fears abandonment; may feel emotionally intense.

• Avoidant: Values independence; avoids emotional closeness and vulnerability.

• Disorganized: Push-pull pattern; wants closeness but fears harm, often linked to trauma.

No attachment style is destiny. With awareness and supportive relationships, anyone can move toward greater security, break old patterns, and improve both mental health and relationships.

Works Referenced

Bowlby, J. (1988). A secure base: Parent-child attachment and healthy human development. Basic Books.

Fonagy, P., Gergely, G., Jurist, E. L., & Target, M. (2002). Affect regulation, mentalization, and the development of the self. Other Press.

Main, M., & Solomon, J. (1990). Procedures for identifying infants as disorganized/disoriented during the Ainsworth Strange Situation. In M. T. Greenberg, D. Cicchetti, & E. M. Cummings (Eds.), Attachment in the preschool years: Theory, research, and intervention (pp. 121–160). University of Chicago Press.

Wallin, D. J. (2007). Attachment in psychotherapy. The Guilford Press.

Mikulincer, M., & Shaver, P. R. (2016). Attachment in adulthood: Structure, dynamics, and change (2nd ed.). The Guilford Press.

Sroufe, L. A., Egeland, B., Carlson, E., & Collins, W. A. (2005). The development of the person: The Minnesota study of risk and adaptation from birth to adulthood. The Guilford Press.

van IJzendoorn, M. H., & Bakermans-Kranenburg, M. J. (1996). Attachment representations in mothers, fathers, adolescents, and clinical groups: A meta-analytic search for normative data. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 64(1), 8–21. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-006X.64.1.8