Struggling with anxiety, depression, relationship challenges, or a lack of motivation? One key mindset shift can significantly impact your ability to overcome these obstacles: developing an internal locus of control.
This powerful psychological concept often comes up in therapy sessions because it plays a central role in how people experience and respond to the world around them. Individuals who master this mindset tend to feel more empowered, more capable, and more resilient—traits that directly influence personal and professional success.
What Is an Internal Locus of Control?
Your locus of control refers to how much you believe you can influence the outcomes in your life. People with an internal locus of control believe their actions directly impact results. In contrast, those with an external locus of control believe that their life is mostly shaped by outside forces like luck, fate, other people, or uncontrollable circumstances.
Research has shown that those with an internal locus of control are generally:
- More motivated and goal-driven
- Less likely to experience chronic stress and depression
- Physically healthier
- More emotionally stable
- Better at building and maintaining healthy relationships
The Problem: The Teeter-Totter of Despair
Sometimes, when life feels overwhelming, it can seem like we’re stuck on a mental teeter-totter that won’t let us find balance. One side crashes down with the weight of the world’s brokenness: injustice, poverty, war, and all the things far beyond our control. When we focus there, everything can feel hopeless and unfair. The other side swings up and hits us in the gut with personal shame: Maybe I’m the problem. Maybe I’m lazy, not good enough, or just broken.
Back and forth it goes. The more we focus on one side, the harder the swing back to the other. It’s exhausting. This teeter-totter keeps us trapped between blaming the world and blaming ourselves — never grounded, never safe, and never still.
But what if the problem isn’t you or everything?
Let’s take a closer look at what happens when we step off that ride by shifting from an extenral locus of control to an internal locus of control.
External vs. Internal Locus of Control
Let’s break it down:
External Locus of Control looks like:
- Believing success depends on luck, fate, or external validation
- Saying things like “They made me feel…” or “The world ruined my week”
- Blaming others for your lack of progress
- Feeling stuck because of systemic barriers without seeking areas of personal agency
- Adopting a victim identity rather than acknowledging victimization as an experience
Internal Locus of Control looks like:
- Taking responsibility for your actions and outcomes
- Believing effort and strategy can improve your situation
- Letting go of what you can’t change and focusing on what you can
- Setting boundaries with others instead of trying to control them
- Using challenges (like mental health diagnoses) as information to build support systems, not excuses to stay stuck
It’s important to note that an internal locus of control does not mean ignoring injustice, trauma, or systemic inequality. Instead, it means acknowledging those realities while identifying areas where you still have influence. Even small choices and mindset shifts can build resilience and move you forward.
How to Shift Toward an Internal Locus of Control
Developing an internal locus of control is a skill—one that anyone can learn and strengthen over time. Here are four key steps to get started:
4 Ways to Step Back into Your Strength
1. Spot the Thought Patterns That Are Dragging You Down
The first move toward reclaiming your personal power is noticing the mental scripts that keep tripping you up. These might sound like:
- Holding on to the idea that you’re a victim.
- Blaming yourself or others.
- Saying, “I can’t… because…”
These thoughts may feel true, but they often keep us stuck. Bringing awareness to them is the beginning of shifting their grip.
2. Sort the Controllables from the Chaos
Resilient people don’t magically avoid stress—they’re just better at knowing what’s in their hands and what isn’t. They don’t waste energy trying to fix what’s beyond reach. Instead, they zoom in on what they can influence.
Try this: Do a “What’s mine, what’s not?” exercise. Draw a line down the middle of a page. On one side, write the things you can affect. On the other, the things you can’t. Focus your time and energy on your side of the page.
3. Get Curious About What You Haven’t Learned Yet
Picture someone who’s grown up in a family of restaurant workers—everyone they know has always worked in food service. That’s the world they understand. But now the restaurant closed, and work is hard to find. Everyone around them is frustrated, blaming the economy, the owners, or bad luck. It feels like there are no options—but maybe the real issue isn’t a lack of opportunity. Maybe it’s a lack of awareness about other skills.
What if that person never considered learning graphic design, HVAC repair, or dental hygiene? Not because they’re incapable—but because no one ever opened that door. And what if they’d be really, really good at it if they’d just take a chance?
It’s not about doing what someone should do. It’s about realizing that new skills create new paths.
- Struggling in relationships? Maybe it’s not you—it’s just that no one taught you how to repair after conflict.
- Feeling stuck in anxiety? There are real techniques—like breathing patterns, brain dumps, or body-based tools—that actually work.
- Think you’re bad at learning? You might just need a different teaching style.
There are whole toolkits out there you haven’t seen yet. And the best news? You can learn them. Stay open, stay curious, and see what doors that might unlock.
4. Take a Small Step Toward One New Thing
Shifting to an internal sense of control means changing the way we respond to life’s challenges. We can’t make other people change, rewrite the laws, or control the weather—but we can decide what kind of influence those things have on our self-worth and direction.
Start small. Pick one thing from your “controllables” list. Do something with it. It doesn’t have to be perfect—just intentional. Small steps in the right direction are how momentum builds.
Final Thoughts
Developing an internal locus of control is not about denying hardship or pretending everything is within your power. It’s about choosing to direct your attention and effort toward what is in your power. That mindset leads to growth, healing, and resilience—even in challenging circumstances.
If you’re tired of feeling stuck or defeated, remember: your mindset matters. Start today by identifying just one thing you can control—and take action.
4 Comments
Tammy Baker · April 23, 2025 at 5:10 am
Shifting from an external locus of control to an internal one can be so empowering. I have found that recognizing what I can influence and focusing on that has made a huge difference in my ability to overcome obstacles.
William Martinez · April 23, 2025 at 5:10 am
I love the idea of spotting thought patterns that are dragging me down. It’s so true that awareness is the first step – once I realized I was playing the victim in my own life, I was able to make positive changes.
John Chandler · April 23, 2025 at 5:10 am
Getting curious about what I haven’t learned yet is such an eye-opening concept. It’s true that new skills can create new paths, and sometimes all we need is to explore something we never considered before.
Natalie Smith · April 23, 2025 at 5:10 am
Taking small steps toward one new thing is such practical advice. It’s all about intentional action, even if it’s not perfect. Momentum really does build with those small steps in the right direction.